Day 62

Yesterday's miracle has lead into today's.  I had been praying about something else that I could do.  I really like my job and last week I got a rush from being able to help people so I know it is where I should be.  However, lately I've also had the desire to do something else, something more along with families in some way.  I didn't know what I wanted to do though and so I just hoped/knew God would point me in the right direction and I would have to cue in to his lead.  Today I figured it out and it is totally not what I had in mind but I'm really excited about it and looking forward to something with families way out in left field.
I'm going to apply to be a marriage commissioner.
Betcha didn't see that one coming!  I decided to apply because, one my brother and his fiancee are the third couple to ask me to marry them.  I have know idea why people have asked me in the past to marry them but by people in the past asking me made me think this is something I should pursue.  So I went and spoke to the local marriage commissioner.  She gave me all the information and told me that she would fully support my application and provide a reference as well as walk me through the process.  I spoke to my pastor about it because that was my only reservation.  In my eyes, for me, I would want to get married by him entering into a marriage under God's law.  However I do recognize that not all people share this same idea as me and I think I would be good at it, not sounding too pompous.  The pastor supported the idea so I'm in. 
I like being able to meet new people and only have them in my life for a short period, I like getting to help them at the beginning of a new path, essentially the start of them beginning a family because I don't care what you say it doesn't take having a child to be a family. 
So that's my miracle and answered prayer of the day, I'm applying to be a marriage commissioner.

Day 61

My youngest brother is getting married.  I kind of figured that they would somehow incorporate all of the siblings into the wedding in some way.  I found out what my job will be today.  I get to perform the ceremony!!!!!  Can you believe it?  I get to marry my little brother to the girl he has been friends with since he was 5!  I'm so excited.  An aside, I'm only doing the ceremony, they will get legally married behind the scenes by someone else.  But, on the day of the wedding it will be me asking each one of them if they "do?"
Huge miracle of the day and I'm so excited about my job and the fact that I don't have to wear a dress, that is if I don't want to.

Day 60

Two whole months of a miracle a day!!!!  Wowzers.  What I'm finding is that its easy to see the miracle each day, not so easy to get the time to write it down.  I think what I need to do is start a post each day to just write a few words on the miracle but don't publish is until I have the time to actually sit down and write it out.
Okay, on to the miracle of today. 
I seem to be on a theme for the past few days, time.  Today I took my good friends kids and Jacob to Lloydminster to the leisure centre.  Everyone had an absolute great time, including me.  We all went down the water slide numerous times and had fun.  No fights, or arguments, just lots of thank yous and smiles.  It was truly a fun day overall and so I'm thankful for that, and that is my little gift for today.

Day 59

Time.  Isn't that a gift in itself each and everyday.  The time that we have to spend with family, our loved ones, friends, etc.  Time is a gift that we seem to forget. 
Today I was in a seniors lodge and I had some time to wait until the person I was meeting arrived.  I sat down in the lounge area and a woman began chatting with me.  We ended up visitting for half an hour.  She talked about her family, her past, her life.  I felt so greatful to have her talk to me and it seemed like she was a bit lonely and so was happy to have the company.  Had I not had or made the time I would have never heard this woman.  I have never been that good with elderly people.  I didn't know what to talk to them about.  This woman, who I never got her name, taught me that elderly people want to talk about the same thing younger people want, to talk about themselves and what is going on in their life. 
I'm glad I had the time today.

Day 58

I had a big prayer request this week.  A person on my caseload was being evicted and as of Monday we had no place for him to go.  Thursday at 4pm was eviction time.  Scrambling occurred.  Where to make application, what happens if no one accepts the person?  The person doesn't just have a disability either, they are elderly, learning disabled, and have a mental illness.  Not every facility is jumping up and down to take someone like that.
Well Tuesday I prayed a lot.  I asked God to just help us to find this person a home that would meet all of their needs and feel accepted.  I also told God, I know that He would deliver but if He could just deliver my prayer request a little earlier than Thursday at 4pm it would be really appreciated.
Well Tuesday at 2pm we found out a facility would take the person.  Then today I had a meeting with everyone and we will also have mental health involved, home care, his pdd supports, and the facility is really looking forward to having him.  So every single one of my prayer requests about this situation were answered, all before 4pm on Thursday.
Who says God doesn't answer prayers?

Day 57

I'm not sure how much I've written about my son's bio mom before on here or on my other blog but I have to share this little tidbit because it relates to my miracle of the day.
She has only had my son and an older daughter, born in 2003.  The daugther is with her biological dad and I don't have any information on who the dad is so we may never be able to make contact if Jacob so chose to do so one day.
In December of last year his mom had called and said she was pregnant again.  I at first was not open to even thinking about adopting any more of her children.  As time went by though I began to think that it would be great to have siblings and how nice it would be to have a baby. 
In August when I signed all the last documents to make Jacob mine legally I also filled out a siblings registry card.  This would be sent to headquarters and then on my electronic file we would be linked to her so that if she ever did have a baby we would be first choice to adopt or foster the child.
Well unfortunately I'm jaded.  I wasn't so sure that this card made it to headquarters.  So my co-worker was able to pass on the name of the person I should contact to ensure the card did make it to where it should.
I left a message for this person and never heard back.  Today though I received a call from a man and he explained the process and such, no my card was not there.  I explained the reason why I wanted to ensure it made it into the electronic system and he did ensure me that "they" (whoever they are) are going to be looking into that situation to see if there is a baby in the system.
So no, I haven't heard any more.  However my small miracle is that I now know that someone did hear me and my information is now where it should be in case there ever is a little brother or sister for Jacob. 

Day 56

Today I did work.  I had to go out of town today to meet with a client and his friend.  Now this client is one of my favorite people on my caseload.  He is a survivor, literally, the man survived the holocaust.  Every since I have known this man he has wanted to go back to his homeland to die.  I attempted to make this happen last year, found someone to travel with him, it looked like it would work out.  I left work and it didn't all work out. 
Anyways, now this man has a friend who is his friend.  They met in the local community that they both lived.  Then he moved and she saw him where she worked, this is now where he lives.  The two have become friends and share the great love they have for thier homeland.  Well ironically enough this friend is also from the same city that he is from.  So needless to say we are working on getting him to his home again.  This is a huge miracle to me.  To be able to help in granting this man his last dying wish is such a gift to me.  I'm not happy about it because I get to tell people about it, I'm happy because I see this man who has had very little go right in his life and now all he wants to do is die in his homeland and to know that he will brings me a warm fuzzy feeling that I truly did listen and help this man.

Day 55

I really didn't feel like working today; it isn't really busy yet because people don't all realize that I'm back full time.  Anyways with that said I've been stressing a bit about getting ready for Christmas.  I want to do some baking and get that all done but don't know when I will have the time to do it.
Well today I pulled up to the sitters and we knocked on the door and no lights came on and then I realized their van wasn't there.  I called and no answer.  So I decided we would go to the office, I'd get what I needed to work from home and then make a quick stop at the grocery store and on our way home.  While on the way to the grocery store though I thought, I might as well just take the day off and do my Christmas baking today since I have the time!  So that's what we did.  Jacob got his stool and helped/ate.  When he was tired of helping he would go and play. 
So this is one miracle today; I got to get my Christmas baking done and no longer feel overwhelmed with when was I going to get it done.
The other miracle is that all day I got to listen to Jacob talk, not chitter chatter to himself but talk.  He was playing with little men and he would pretend the men were working or were eating, or whatever, but he would talk for the men.  Then every once in awhile he would come over and say, "Jake Happy." and this makes me happy. 
So what could have been seen as a catastrophe today was a big ole miracle, Thanks God (and Stacey!)

Day 54

Today I got to speak to prospective adoptive and foster parents.  I met a girl who her, herself had been a product of the child welfare system.  I listened to her tell her story and was quickly reminded how blessed we are as a little family that Jacob didn't endure any type of life that she did.  By the age of 4 she remembers walking to the corner store to buy baby food for her younger siblings.  She bought canned bananas she said, thinking that babies would like bananas and that the baby on the jar looked so happy so she wanted her little siblings to be that happy too.  Big thank you for surrounding my little boy with only love.

Day 54



I was in a trade fair today.  I don't ever do them, not really my thing.  However I needed to do a Christmas order for Pampered Chef and so I thought this would be a good way to tie it in. 

Well I have to say that I am super thankful I made this decision.  I had a very good day and many sales.  That wasn't really the miracle of the day though.  I'm from that area where the trade show was but I never see those people.  I was able to visit with parents of some of the kids I went to school with, saw a 2nd cousin who shares the same passion I do for helping people, talked to another person about how we treat the most vulnerable people in our society, found out my favorite social worker is coming back.  All these things were little gifts and made the sales insignificant for today.

Day 53

As I'm writing I can't believe it is going to almost be 2 months of miracles!!!!!
Well I know exactly what today's miracle is.  It's happened to any northern Albertan driver.  The deer juts in front of your vehicle, you slam on the breaks hoping to stop and then you see another one coming across the road too.  Yep, 3 of the darn things tonight on our drive to get the little puppy.  My jeep did me proud though and stopped in time and we were safe and the deer continued on their merry way. 
Miracle of day 53, no deer hits!

Day 52

You know sometimes being able to have a disagreement with someone and no one budging on their ideas is a pretty big miracle after the fact.  I have a friend that we tend not to see eye to eye on certain topics.  The blessing though is that we can be in a heated discussion and totally disagreeing but we can both walk away and say that we're just going to agree to disagree on this one.  No hard feelings and are still great friends.  To have this mature of a friendship is not often found so this is my miracle of day 52.  Her friendship and our disagreements!

Day 51

I may have talked about the church I go to already but I know that I didn't talk about today's miracle.  We have food ministry.  This is essentially whenever someone is in need of food or if you have had something happen in  your life there are people that will bring  you meals.  So if a new baby is born, or if there is a death, you will get some free meals.  Today we brought a meal to a family that had their first baby.  I think you get a meal every second day for 2 or 3 weeks.  What a great idea and a blessing!  I was a recipient of this when Jacob came home.  It wasn't expected for me to then do it to the next person, in fact it isn't even expected at all but if you want to give back you can.  I just think that for some people this is such a blessing for them. 

Day 50

Well I decided what I wanted to get my brother for Christmas; we draw names and I drew his.  However I would need a miracle to get it!  It happened and here is what he is getting for Christmas!!

My brother has always really liked coonhounds.  I found these puppies a little over an hour away and super reasonably priced.  The only thing was to convince his fiancee that he could have one.  She thought about it and agreed.  So that isn't the only miracle regarding this little pooch though.  The puppy is ready to go now, what do I do with it from now until Christmas???

Well a friend of mine, who is also getting a puppy from me for Christmas graciously offered to look after this little guy until Christmas for me.  So what will happen is then on the 23rd I will pick up that families puppy; we'll exchange Christmas gifts and so essentially I'll drop off their dog, get my brothers and really only have to look after one puppy overnight for the nights of 23rd and 24th. 

Pretty great miracle I'd say!!

Day 49

I had a long list of concerns with regarding adopting through the province that I wanted to voice somewhere.  Working within government I knew going to my MLA or the Minister isn't the best route.  Really no change comes of the concerns and you just create a bunch of paperwork.  With that said I discussed my concerns with my supervisor.  She recommended I voicing those concerns to the CEO of our region.  She had met him through meetings and felt he would be the best avenue for me to go.  So, with that I sat and thought about what exactly I wanted to voice.  I have no complaints about Jacob, it is more the province and the job that they do.  I wrote my long email and explained the concerns I had and questions I had about the process.  It took a little over a week but the CEO did respond.  He did inform me that he had discussed my concerns with the regional workers and this was the compilation of the answers he received.  I'm not going to get into the whole entire thing but one thing I wondered about is why there seems to be so many young children in urban centres but in rural there isn't and why are parents then not matched inter-regionally more often?  My co-worker suggested that when I am approved again why not just cold call a social worker in an urban area and provide them with my file # and ask them to take a look and see if there were any children on their caseload that might be a match.  I didn't know what I thought about this, would I get into trouble, was I stepping on someone's toes?
Well the CEO responded about inter-regional transfers.  What he said is that their region is diligent in getting all children in the electronic system and this is how inter-regional matches occur.  He said that he was not sure how dilligent other regions were about this, so it might be that some available children's profiles were sitting on people's desks or in their filing cabinets.  So I would never be matched with a child that might meet my inquiry simply because they weren't in the electronic system.  HOW UNFORTUNATE FOR THESE KIDS!!!  So that is my answer though, I am so cold calling a social worker in the city when I am approved again and going to send them my approved homestudy so that maybe a little one in that pile might be matched with me! 
Miracle of day 49.

Day 48

I usually only post one miracle but I just have to do it; I'm writing about 2! 
So to start off with it's Sunday today, my favorite day of the week.  It has always been my favorite and now that I go to church every Sunday it's even better.  As I was driving to church I got a text from my future sister in law asking for me to save them a seat because they were coming too.  I began to think about how only 2 years ago it was just me alone going to church all by myself.  Slowly I started taking my nieces and then I started bringing my friends children.  Before long my friends entire family was coming, then another friend and her little girl, and then my parents, and then another longtime guy friend and now yet another friend has asked to come.  Our row is full!   Completely full, if everyone showed up all together we wouldn't all fit in one row!   That is amazing!  I just feel so thankful to have not only a church family but my own family and friends coming together to hear God's word on Sundays.  It was also communion Sunday today and whenever it is communion I tend to get more emotional and teary eyed about Jesus dying for me.  It is a huge miracle that this man paid the price so that I would forever live in God's love and grace.  So there are a few/several miracles in that whole rambling take your pick of which one you want to label as today's miracle.
So the second one I'm going to write about is my friends Christmas, birthday presents.  My friends used to have a basset hound.  They got him as a puppy and had him until he was a ripe old age and they had to put him down.  Well now a few years later they are thinking its time to get another one.  So we've been on the hunt for one and in the back of my mind I knew this would be my Christmas gift to them.  So last night my friend and I discussed it and I asked what she would pay for a dog and she gave her price and I told her I would be paying the rest, no ifs ands or buts.  Now I did tell her this is my gift to the whole family for the entire year, including birthdays, so in the end I'm probably spending the same amount on one gift that I would spend throughout the entire year.   When I got home this afternoon I went on a search and found a breeder about an hour away who has a litter that will be ready right before Christmas, there is a health guarantee, and I found her so personable on the phone.  She told me about the litter and even told me that one puppy was not a recommended purchase because he just had a few little issues.  I don't think all breeders would be this up front.  So we discussed it all and I'm getting them a puppy for Christmas!!   I think that I'll go and pick it up on the 23rd and then the 24th we'll exchange gifts and I'll give them the pup!~  Miracle #2 finding a puppy that fits all of our needs and is from a good home, not a puppy mill.

Day 47

Well I could have a few miracles to discuss today but I'm going to write about the biggest one.  We're getting an addition to the family!!!

My little brother popped the question this morning to his longtime girlfriend Lisa!!!!!

So excited about this and so thankful, BIG Miracle, that we as a family are really thankful for!!!

Day 46

Jacob and I went out for supper tonight together, just him and I.  We do it every once in awhile and I really enjoy it.  Starting our own little tradition of just him and I.  I know that he and I are together all the time but to go out for supper to a restaurant is just special for some reason.  We always get the same thing, pizza.  We are huge pizza lovers.  So this time with him is just a little miracle that I get to enjoy:)  Thanks God.

Day 45

Well today was Rememberance Day so I have to give the miracle of the day to all the war veterans that gave their lives and saved this country, that is a huge miracle for today, that we live in a free country.

Day 44

So although I am extremely thankful for my job, co-workers, boss, etc. I'm feeling a need for change.  I didn't know what until today.  In chatting back and forth with a friend I realized what I am really good at and like to do, what I feel purposeful doing.  Now when I say it your going to be like, "what is that?"  I'll explain it.  A systems navigator.  So what is that.  Well in my ideal world it would be someone you call when you are trying to figure out which government department to go through for your issue.  You know when you are faced with something and you know that there should be some kind of help out there and yet you don't know where to go so you do one of two things; nothing; or you make a bunch of wrong phone calls until you find the right place to talk to.  Okay, so what I would do is listen to your problem, crisis, or issue and then guide you to the exact place you need to go. I might be the one making all the wrong phone calls for you, or I might know exactly where to point you and give you the correct information right off the bat.  This came to me because I have found that I tend to put myself in this situation a lot.  Most recently with a friend who's nephew is having some issues and they didn't know where to turn or what resources are out there for this little tyke.  How often does this happen?  A lot I think.
So how does this tie into the miracle of the day?  Well I discussed this with my boss today and my role might very well change so that I can do this but in our department with private families!  So what a great thing this would be to work with my awesome supervisor still, great co-workers, same pay, and do what I think I could be really good at!
Yep, a pretty good miracle if I do say so myself.

Day 43

I wasn't sure which miracle I was going to write about today.  Then only 10 minutes ago it came to me. 
My dad.  He is my miracle of the day. 
I have noticed a trend in my caseload.  I have had more and more Korsakoff's syndrome folks as referrals.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korsakoff's_syndrome  if you aren't sure what this is.  In a nutshell, people drink themselves brain injured.  I'm starting to struggle with these folks.  They are such sad cases.  Left by family members because family is just burnt out and fed up of having to deal with their alcoholic loved one. 
So why is my dad the miracle of the day?  Well for the first 5 years of my life my dad was an alcoholic.  I'm the only kid that remembers much of it and really I only probably remember 3 or 4 episodes, although I know that there were more.  He quit drinking though and hasn't touched a drop in 25 years.  Well, actually I remember him having a sip of wine somewhere but that's been it.  Wine was never his thing anyways, he was whiskey man.  Funny, when I started drinking I remember smelling Gibson's whiskey once and instantly the scent brought me back to a scenario with my dad, I checked and yes, Gibson's had been his favorite drink of choice. 
Had he not quit I'm sure it would have been easy to just stay in that life of alcoholism and now it might be my family dropping him off at a hospital in a drunken stupor and walking away.
His sobriety is my miracle, a little one today, but a big one of the course of our lifetimes.

Day 42

Well I want to start the process to adopt again....... what I've been told by social workers is that I have to wait a year after Jacob is mine legally.  So I was talking to my co-worker, who happens to be an ex-children services social worker.  She so graciously forwarded their policy manual on to me.  Guess what???  Policy states that it is a year from placement of the adopted child.  So February, 2011, not September 2011. 
Now some of you may be thinking I'm jumping into the fire before the coals have even cooled again.  I'm not.  I'm actually not 100% convinced that another adopted child is what I want.  What I do know though is that if I start the process and then life takes a different path then I can let children services know and stop future matches, etc.  However if I don't start then I am making our little family wait that much longer if another child is what is in store for us.  I just want to have a door open to close if I want to or to leave open if I want another little snickerdoodle (my co-workers lingo, love it) to come through it.
So knowing the actual fact and policy is my little miracle today.

Day 41

Okay I've started praying about a husband.  I came across a list of 5 things that I had written down a year and a half ago, the list included things that I wanted/needed prayer for.  Well 3 of the 5 have been crossed off.  WOW!  So one of the last two things is a companion.  So I've been praying about this.  Praying that God would present someone to me who would be a good man to us and an equal.  A man that would appreciate me as much as I appreciated him.  A man that has a relationship with God.  This morning I prayed before I read my bible, including a request about a husband.  Then I was busy doing my hair and I stopped and thought, I need to give praise, not just requests all the time.  So I took a minute or so, that's all it takes, to thank God for all that he has done in my life and apologized for all of the hurt I had caused him.  Go back upstairs and continue doing my hair.  Within 5-10 minutes someone called me and asked if I still drank double doubles because he was going to come to church with me today and bring me a coffee.  Okay, I hear ya God.  Loud and clear.  I know who it is I'm supposed to be with and I know that God has brought us to place together and now I will wait until this person develops his relationship with God more and God will lead the way. 
Funny though how often I pray but how often I don't stop to listen to the answers.

Day 40

I was not pleased about my work situation today.  We have new roles.  We have the authority to investigate when a guardian is suspected of abusing the person they are guardian for.  This is new since last October, before that the only way to investigate anything would be to take the matter to court and challenge the guardianship order.  A long and daunting process for people so no one ever complained. 
So we received a complaint that someone was keeping the person they were guardian for away from everyone else in the family.  This so far has been the typical complaint we hear.  Now is it causing harm is always our way of knowing whether to investigate or not.  So we get up and head off to where we have to meet the alleged victim, in her home, 2 hours away from where we live.  We arrive bright and early, no answer at the door.  No answer on the phone, wait 10 mins, same thing.  My co-worker calls and checks her office messages, lo-and behold the sister of the alleged victim came and picked up her sister and took her to a town an hour away from her home, so 3 hours away from us now.  LOVELY!  Message was left this morning, probably about an hour into our drive.  Unimpressed were we!~ 
So on we go and carry on to another community where I have to serve someone some documents.  The person resides in a hospital where I know the nurse manager and social worker really well.  I end up spending some time visiting with the nurse manager.  She asks how Jacob is and tells me that she still has his stocking that she made him for last Christmas, as we thought I would get him home last year just before Christmas.  How kind and sweet she is.  This woman who I only know through my job and have limited interaction with but she took the time to make my son a Christmas stocking before I even had him.  How sweet, again, how sweet!  Through our discussions too I also found out a medical issue that she encountered and now may help with diagnosing what is going on with another one of my clients. 
Two little miracles in one day!  The kindness of this nurse, and possible an answer to what is happening to one of my clients due to a conversation had with her. 
All in all have to say although it didn't start on the best note it sure ended on one.

Day 39

Today was such a beautiful day outside Jacob and I went fishing.  Who gets to go fishing from shore on November 4th in Alberta??  That's a miracle, thanks God.

Day 38

Can I be the miracle of today?  Not to be totally egocentric or anything but I think I did a little miracle for someone else today.  There was a mother at a local play group that had a bit of a struggle with one of her children.  Well when I got home I was really thinking about her and the situation.  I had 2 options, pray for her and her family, or do something.  I did.  I sent her a message telling her that we all have those kind of days with our kids and that she was a great mom to great kids.  Now I barely know this woman but from what I see of her I knew those two things about her.  She messaged me back and thanked me for my kind words.  Now I didn't do it for praise, I did it because I have had those days already in my short parenting life that I just wanted to cry and say "why is this so hard?"  When you just want your kids to behave and they don't.  So my miracle is that I put a smile on almost a stranger's face and hey maybe at the end of it all I might have a new friend, or if I don't that's okay too.  The smile was worth the doing instead of praying today.

Day 36

We had some visitors this morning.  My sister-in-law and her two youngest came and hung out this morning.  It was a great time.  The kids all kept busy playing and we got in a good visit. Now the miracle is that I got to give something away that I felt really guilty about just throwing away.  Jacob got a small desk as a gift when he came home.  Now I have little itty bitty house and there isn't really any room anywhere for it but yet I didn't want to throw it out and I didn't want to just give it to the next to new because the person that gave it to him might shop there and see it.  Well my niece would love to have it my sister-in-law said so she is going to take it and put it to good use and I don't feel guilty now at all about giving it to someone who will use it and has the room for it.

Day 35

I go to a group on Monday nights, it's called small group.  It's not called bible study because we don't necessarily always study the bible.  Last year we did a session on how to talk to non-Christians about Christianity.  It was very good.  This year though we are doing a study from Charles Price.  He's quite interesting.  I like him because he talks from the bible, not what he has done.  I find that many pastors/evangelicals talk about what they have done more than what the bible says. 
Anyways we're doing 1Samuel right now.  Very interesting.  He discussed the story of David and Goliath.  Now I know the story, David a tiny teen kills a giant of a man.  That's the story.  However that isn't the whole story.  See there was Saul first, God told Saul that he would defeat the Philistines and take over Israel again.  So when Goliath challenges the Israelites it should have been Saul that went out and took on the challenge.  He was actually a big man too, much more comparable in size to Goliath than David was.  However he didn't.  He was scared to.  So instead David goes out and says that he will take on Goliath.  What does Saul say?  I pray that the Lord is with you.  How many times have I done that.  Instead of putting my faith in God and doing what he wants me to do for someone instead I say, I'll pray for you.  What a cop out?!  That's exactly what Charles Price said.  It's easier sometimes to just say I'll pray for you rather than actually doing something.  That's not the end of the story though.  David goes out to Goliath and tells him in so many words, I'm going to lay a beat down on you and kill you and then I'm going to chop off your head and I'm going to do all this because I have God on my side.  That is exactly what happened!  Now how often do I pray and not exactly believe that God is on my side?  I should always believe that he is on my side I know this but sometimes I admit it I don't believe it whole heartedly. 
So what does this all have to do with a miracle today?  Well I now know, God is always on my side and when I pray I know he will be there.  I also know now that sometimes I shouldn't pray, I should do.  In the next few days you might see that I do this.

Day 34

I've began to house shop.  I find this process extremely stressful as a single person.  I don't have that person to make the decision with.  Tonight I went to look at a house that I was getting stressed about.  I was stressed because although I am shopping now I am not purchasing until April(ish).  I wanted to look at this house so that I would know if I wanted to pursue it or not.  Now my fear was that I would love the house and that I would feel pressure to put an offer on it now just in case it might sell before I was ready to buy.  Well although I did really like the house I didn't love the house and so I can walk away feeling no pressure at all.  Also in talking with the realtor I have realized this will be a long process.  I don't want the typical 1970(ish) bungalow.  It just isn't my style at all.  So although he's said it will take some time he is still very optimistic that we will find what I am looking for.  So I walked away feeling no stress and looking forward to continuing to shop, rather than pressure to buy something that I thought I liked.

Day 33

So today is actually Halloween.  Now I have wrestled with the idea of Halloween and what I wanted to teach my son about it.  In the end I decided we would go trick or treating but to only people we knew.  We went to 3 neighbors, and then drove around to friends homes and then to my parents.  Now I can think of so many countries that would not celebrate Halloween and do the "trick or treating" because of safety, because of lack of resources.  How often do we really sit and think about everything that we have and are thankful for it.  Living in a house is a gift, having heat in that house is a gift, having food in the cupboards is a gift, having running water is a gift, having a car is a gift, having a job is a gift, having a safe community is a gift.  How often do we really think about it?  I know I don't nearly enough.  So today all of these things that I take for granted are my miracles, because they really are.  I remember when I was 18 and working with a woman who was involved with Children's services.  I realized then how lucky I was to have been born in the circumstance I was, because really all it boils down to is what your born into.  I could have been born into the streets of Thailand and not have been so lucky.  So today I'm thankful I was able to feed my son, keep him warm, dress him up, drive him to friends, and to receive treats.

Day 32

This morning I went to a ladies brunch.  A friend hosts one ever second month I think.  Its just a nice morning of food and visiting.  I look forward to these invites.  I sometimes bring Jacob.  This morning though I thought I would ask my friend Tammy and her family to keep Jacob for a few hours.  I was going to be watching her son in a few days so as a give and take I thought I would cash in first, so to speak.  Well when I got done I called Tammy for something and to let her know I would be there right away.  Well she said that she had just put Jacob down for a nap and that she would call me when he woke up!  So I had a few more hours to myself.  Now I love my son dearly and I love having him around all of the time and for the most part I do.  Today though I wanted to do a few errands and possibly pick up a few Christmas gifts so having another couple hours to myself really was a blessing.  So miracle of day 32, a great friend who just does, just because.

Day 31

I woke up feeling so good.  Flu is all gone!  That is the gift of today.  Yesterday I was so sick and today I feel 1000% better.  Praise God!!