Day thirty

Well, 30 days!  I woke up still super sick, actually worse today then I was the previous two days.  I dropped Jacob off to the sitters today so that I could just curl up on the couch and then run to the bathroom without tripping over him.  I knew that today was one of those days I was better not to wear the mom cap first.  I would have sucked at it.  Paying for him to go to the sitters was well worth it to he and I.  However when he got home he ws very lovey dovey.  At one point he just grabbed my hand and held it for awhile.  Now that moment was the miracle of today.  My son is a very kind soul, a gentle little boy and him holding his sick mom's hand was just too kind not to be the miracle of today.

Day twenty nine

The chair, this is my miracle of day 29.  I have been searching/shopping for the perfect comfy armchair for a few years now, 3 to be exact!  I have found several that almost met the qualities that I wanted but none were just perfect.  They were too stiff, or too small I couldn't curl up in, or I didn't like the fabric, or the price.  Well this past week I was in n-t-n and there it was.  A big comfy armchair, the fabric is nice and soft, the springs are still in good shape, I can still get out of it.  The price was $35 so I couldn't complain about that.  Oh how I love my armchair.  If you can imagine it actually does even go with my decor, I have my walls green and an off white and then the curtains are gold and green with offwhite in them.  As you can tell by the picture it is a well used reading chair.  The blanket on the back of it is the blanket Jacob and I use to snuggle in and he curls up on my lap while I read to him, yep miracle of the day is finding the perfect chair!

Day twenty eight

Well our house awoke with the flu today.  I woke up sick and then since Jacob was at my mom and dad's for a sleepover I called in the morning and he had also been sick through the night.  So today we just snuggled on the couch.  I love cuddling with him, I sometimes get a little emotional when I think of all the cuddling that I missed out on his life already, so days like today are great for giving me a chance to make it up.  Yep, cuddling today was our miracle.  Oh and the fact that he actually only puked for my mom and not for me at all.  Hey gotta count every miracle you can!

Day twenty seven

I was speaking to the lovely lady that Jacob goes to during the day.  She was telling me how her husband let her sleep in and he accepted Jacob this morning then when she woke up she called for Jacob and he came into her room.  Then they played and read stories in bed for a while.  She told me how they played fort and Jacob would pretentd to be hidden and then pop up and then be all tangled in the covers and say "I'm stuck".  Then she was telling me how her 9 year old son came to her and said, "Jacob is such a joyful little boy." 
All of this is my gift today.  Listening to how they were playing, reading stories, etc.  This is something that I have done with Jacob and to hear that he is getting a very similar experience with them just continually reassures me that this is the best place for him to be at during the day.  Also how much their entire family does appreciate him and accept him into their daily routine.  It is a very comforting feeling to hear that.  Thanks God.

Day twenty six

Sleep is such a miracle in itself sometimes.  Our routine at church is that I hold Jacob in my arms while the praise and worship is going on, so I am sort of in essence singing to him and God.  Its our thing, our routine.  He snuggles his little head into my shoulder and listens.  Well today in his little snuggling he moved his head to my chest instead of shoulder, soon enough I had a sleeping little boy. He slept all the way through the service and even for 45 minutes afterwards.  Thankfully I had a meeting after service and so everyone just huddled around me while we had the meeting.  Then he woke up in a great mood.  His ability to just sleep wherever amazes me but is so good for him.  I never really worry about him being really overtired because he just sleeps wherever he is whenever he needs it.
Later on in the day after supper he just snuggled with me on the couch and we watched movies together.  I think this is such a gift and a miracle that I am so thankful for because I am a very touchy feely person with kids.  I love snuggling with kids and I missed out on a couple years of cuddling with him so on the days that he's super cuddly are a great big gift to me.  I just love it.  Thanks God:)

Day twenty five

I am super passionate about adoption, especially adoption through the province.  I do understand though that adoption isn't for everyone.  However let me tell ya when people are open to the idea I love talking about it and sharing our story and encouraging them to at least research it and decide if it is for them.  I do encourage people to go down the adoption route if they want kids and are having issues going the natural route.  Now my thought on is it is that if you at least go through the process and are waiting then if you do become pregnant you can always say no, I don't need to adopt.  However if in the meantime a child comes up that matches you, you have the opportunity to become a parent that way too.  However if you don't open the door to it you don't have the opportunity to ever say no, if you get what I mean.  If not, sorry I'm so confusing at 7 am on a Sunday morning, my don doesn't sleep in past 6am ever, 5:22am seems to be his wake up time. 
Anyways moving on.  Yesterday, on day 25 I met a lovely woman who really really wants to have children.  However has not yet foud the mate for her to have children with.  So she quizzed me about adoption and the ins and outs.  I am so thankful to have talked to her about it because this way she can think more about it and decide if it is for her or not, rather than just reading off of a website about it, in a one paragrapher. 
Interestingly enough this is the second, single woman I've spoken to this week who approached me to talk about adopting.  Each time I talk about it I walk away wondering if maybe one more child in the province has now found a person to have a forever family with and this little miracle of getting to talk about it with someone may have just turned into a huge miracle for a prospective mom and child.

Day twenty four

I have finally began to act like a grown up and am house shopping.  I'm super picky about the realtor I use though.  I wnat to take my time and not be pushed into a house that really is not what I'm looking for.  This is what happened the last time I went house shopping.
Well I met with the realtor I decided to go with today and he really seems to be on the same page as I.  We sat down and thoroughly discussed what I would like.  I told him about a few houses that I was already interested in and he seemed to be quite honest about them.  The one has just the right amount of bedrooms and it is on a double lot with garage, and a greenhouse.  MY DREAM HOUSE!!!!  Yeah, well he told me that there is a really funky odor downstairs that is likely mold so he didn't even want to show it to me because he doesn't want me to get into anything that has major issues like that.
Now this is a huge miracle to me because it means that the realtor is working for me and going to get us into a house that meets our needs, in our price range, without worrying about what is going to fall down around us.  Major miracle, finding a realtor that listens to me.

Day twenty-three

Two steps forward, one step back.  Jacob was not a happy camper when we came home.  I'm not sure why.  Just a bit off.  He couldn't decide on anything, take off his coat, leave it on, play or cuddle.  Just everything.  Well I'm sticking with the backbone of everything I know about people and trying to be as consistent as possible.  So tonight is BG club for him.  The routine is that we go to my friends home and then he and their daughter go for the evening to BG club.  Even though he was off in moods I sent him, keep with consistent routine.
Well it paid off.  When he got back and I got back from my meeting he was such a happy boy.  No self stimming and just an engaging happy little boy.
Miracle of today was knowing that even though I struggled with what I know is to do right I did it anyways and it paid off!  Plus of course his running to me and jumping up and down saying "mom, mom!" was a pretty big miracle too.  Since before he left I was feeling pretty crummy inside. 

Day twenty-two

These wonderful people are the miracle of today.  I was listening to John Bevere and a talk he was doing.  He made reference that God gives us people as gifts in our lives.  A pastor is a gift to the church.  Well this family is a gift to Jacob and I.  This is my pastor and his family.  I feel so abundantly blessed to have them in our lives.  They are amazing leaders in our church, and they are just loving people.  When you are around them you just feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

Jacob absolutely loves going there.  He has yet to show any hesitation to going, from day one he has almost ran to get into the house and play with all of the kids. 

Today I realized how similar Stacey, the mom, and I are.  I had to work late and when I arrived she sent some of their supper home for me.  Now this is something I totally would do, and I think I did do a few times, maybe not supper, but loaves of fresh bread, or baking, or canning, home to the family I was babysitting for throughout the summer. 

It is such a comfort to know that Jacob is in a place that has if not the same, very similar values and morals that I have.  A place where kids truly get the nurture they need each and every day.

They are a huge miracle for he and I and so they are the miracle of today.

Day twenty-one

Gift of today was very simple, my son.  We came home tonight and he and I played on the floor.  We did oil changes, we did tire changes, we filled up the cars and trucks with gas, we did it all.  The time spent with him tonight and the improvements he is making is the miracle.  There was a lot less of self-stimming and much more interaction with me or imagination with his toys.  The energy that I seem to have developed to not be too tired to sit on the floor with him and do all of these things is a miracle everyday too.  This was my biggest fear in becoming a parent.  I was quite worried that since I seem to be a low energy person, would I have enough energy all the time for a child.  I do.

Day twenty

By the time theat I went to work this morning I thought, "there is going to be no miracle today or if there is I'm really going to have to look hard for it."
It happened, of course it happened, they happen everyday, hence the reason for this blog.
If you also follow my other blog you might know that we are going through a transition and Jacob is not coping as well as I thought he would.  Well Monday morning was especially trying and I was pretty much in tears all day because of how he is doing.  When I went to work after lunch I brought with me a previous assessment he had done at Glenrose Hospital.  You know that little line at the very end of the assessment "please feel free to contact us if you wish to discuss the results of this assessment or future concerns"?  Well I called.....  I didn't know where to start for help for him and I so I started there.  I spoke to a wonderful lady and she recommended a resource that may be able to provide some support.  I called CASA, the resource she recommended, and yes they could absolutely provide me with assistance and recommended I make a referral. 
So there are actually a few miracles I can point out in what I thought was going to be a no miracle day:

• I realized I am an advocate for my son and don't care about the stigmatization of "getting help".  We need it and I will go to the ends of the earth for him
• He had this assessment completed so I had someone to call to talk out the issues, otherwise I'm not really sure where I would have started
• I was very quickly reassured that this was exactly what I thought in my gut, a coping mechanism to deal with change, rather than what my head was racing thinking, autism
• I have a fabulous support network who whole heartedly supports my venting, frustration, and applaudes our successes
• Jacob and I will get the help we need
• I accept that this isn't just a "Jacob" issue, I'm wanting support more for me actually so that I know how to help him, not how to change him
• I finally realize the trauma that he has had happen in his life and that we do need help to assist us

So there you have it, quite a few little miracles in a day that I spent mostly in tears because I thought life was horrible today.

Day Nineteen

I teach a Sunday school program to 3 and 4 year old.  A fun group but sometimes a little difficult to work with in a big group and all stay on task.
They definitely are the miracle of today.  All the kids sat so good for the story and answered all the questions about the story I had quizzed them on.  They also all participated in making the craft, even Jacob!  From start to finish!  They made dusting mitts to help their parents dust around the house.  This was to teach we all need to help out in cleaning, odd for bible group you might think but it was tagging into the story of Jesus washing the disciples feet the night of the last supper. 
It feels so good to teach these little people about God and that they understand it and are so able to just soak it in and have faith that God has done things for us even though we can't cognitively explain it sometimes.

Day Eighteen

Okay now this may seem like a silly miracle but to me it is a miracle and gift.  I love my hair.  Like I love my hair so much I don't know if I could ever be one of those people that donates their hair to cancer or to shave their head for a good cause.  However hair is upkeep.  I have always struggled with hairdressers, who does what I ask, who isn't too expensive, who does a good job......
Well on a whim yesterday I called and made an appointment at a salon that I haven't gone to for years.  I quit going because the hairdresser that I had moved on.  So I went and it was a cute younger girl, probably early 20's, that was going to cut my hair.  Now first thing I notice, how long and healthy her hair is.  I notice very few highlights so she must not dye her hair much.  Then I explain what I want, take off all the dead.  I'm actually wanting a couple of inches off my ends because I know that's how bad my hair has gotten.  I'm nervous, not that she'll go to short but that she won't take enough off.  A few months ago I had gone somewhere else and told them this exact same request and they took barely an inch off.  So she looks at my hair and says, "it's going to be a lot off."  "That's okay" I respond, wondering if her idea of a lot and my idea are comparable.  THEY ARE!  She took probably 2-3" off my ends and my hair now feels healthy again.  I took a closer look at her hair when she was close to me and I noticed her hair had no split ends. 
Now this may seem like a silly miracle but seriously to find a hair dresser that doesn't over process their own hair and takes care of it is a hair dresser I like.  So miracle of day 18 is that I now have found a hairdresser in my small little town that isn't outrageously over priced, does what I want and does a good job.

Day Seventeen

Well I have to say that today the miracle and gift was time spent with one of my favorite cousins.  I had on a whim decided to go to Lloyd to do some shopping and on the way I thought that I would try giving my cousin a quick phone call.  Now my cousin is never the easiest person to get a hold of.  She is always very busy and so doesn't always answer the phone, or return emails and she doesn't have voicemail so I can't even leave her a message.  Well today she actually answered!  A miracle in itself.  We were able to meet for lunch even though neither of us had planned to it just all worked out.  Our kids have fun playing together so it is always a blessing when we are able to spend time together.
So miracle of day 17 was that it all fell into place for us to get together and talk about the wonders of God and the miracles he blesses us with each and everyday.

Day Sixteen

Today's miracle is an easy one to see for me.  My boss.  She is such an amazing lady.  I love her to pieces.  However I have a lot of respect for her and admire her.  She is the first person I have come across in my career that I aspire to be like.  She is well known in our field of work throughout the province.  She's not known just because she's good at what she does but also because she treats all people with such a level of dignity and respect.  She is always diplomatic and yet gets her point across in difficult situations and even when everyone doesn't agree there are not any hard feelings and people walk away with this feeling of "I like her and look forward to working with her again."
It's not just in her profession that she is an inspiration but also in her homelife.  She is a fellow Christian and on our little trip this week we talked a lot of God and his love and faith in people.  She opened the door more and more to discuss the topic.  It was a fabulous trip and I'm so greatful to have her as a boss, role model, and friend in my life.

Day fifteen

Okay today I'm going to make an effort to get almost caught up in my miracle a day blog.  I've a pretty good memory so I don't think that I will be trying to pull miracles from the air just to fill the space.
So for day 15 I remember exactly what it was.  Have you ever not agreed with people but you really know that your way is right?  Isn't it hard to try and convince people to do what you want but in the most polite way possible?  Well it happened on day 15.  My boss and I had a meeting that both of us were feeling was going to be a difficult meeting.  It wasn't at all.  Everyone in the room was on the same page and we were able to advocate the needs of our person while protecting and encouraging a healthy family relationship.  Now I wish I could get into it more but really the situation itself is irrelevant and the outcome is what was the miracle.  Together everyone around the table walked away knowing we are working for the common good, a young girl's life. 
Yep, a surprising miracle on day 15.

Day fourteen

So today's miracle wasn't really my miracle but I thought that it was significant enough around the world that I had to make it today's miracle. 
The Chilean rescue.  The rescue of 33 men who had been trapped in a mine for 69 days.  I sat and watched while the first miner was brought to surface and tears were streaming down my cheeks.  The faith that these men had?  I heard a comment that one miner said that there were 34 down in the mine because God never left them.  It makes me wonder for people that don't believe in God, would they get through this type of a crisis if it happened to them?  Sometimes, no all the time, faith is a good thing.  This is what these men had.  AMAZING MIRACLE for around the world.

Day thirteen

Betcha you thought I had given up or forgot; nope.  I was away for a few days with no access to a computer and then playing catch up at home.  So what was the miracle/gift of day 13?  This family.

They are my pseudo family.  They have accepted Jacob and I into their lives whole heartedly.  Tammy is the closest person I have ever had to a sister and Todd her husband is always there to lend me a hand when I need it.  Their kids are phenomenal kids.  We went quadding with them on Thanksgiving day.  If you can believe it Jacob fell asleep in the seat on the back of the quad.  Shelby, their daughter, couldn't stand to see him like this so she came and rode with both of us, holding him up so that he didn't flop all over and instead would have a more restful sleep.  They truly are amazing people and a gift to Jacob and I.

Day twelve

February 19, 2010 an old high school friend and her husband were in a car accident.  Both were left with brain injuries and it was unknown how long recovery would take and what full recovery would look like for each of them.  They were each unconscious for many days and in casts on various parts of their body.  They have 3 children varying from just a teen to quite young, I think 5 or so years old. 
Today my friend post that she was getting out of the hospital.  This is her first post since the accident.  AMAZING.  Definitely a huge miracle for that family.  Her husband is also continuing to recuperate. 
Miracle #12.

Day eleven

Well, well, well.  What could the miracle of today be.  I know your probably thinking that I have been picking big things that really aren't miracles but are just things in my life that I never take the time to appreciate, yep, your right.  Don't worry though pretty soon all the big things will have been mentioned and I really will have to look deeper for those little miracles of each day, oh one just popped into my head.
I was going to say that the weather today was the miracle.  Did you know that on this date last year it was -9 and snow on the ground??  Today it was +20's and gorgeous. 
Anyways, nope I have a little miracle to make mention of.  So Jacob is potty trained, sort of.  He rarely goes in his pants anymore, typically waits for the bathroom.  However he doesn't ask to go pee.  I spoke to other mother's about this and some said that as long as 4 months or so later before thier kids were asking to go pee.  Well today all of a sudden Jacob came running up to me, "Pee!  Pee!"  I thought, oh know, he already went.  Nope, he had't he needed to go.  So we made the trek to the bathroom, which was over a 100 feet away and up a steep hill.  Why didn't I just whip it out and go there by the lake you ask?  Well I had an inkling that he had to poop not just pee.  So we made the trek and sure enough my big little boy pooped and peed on the potty and had told me he had to go first.  Yep small, or big miracle of the day. 

Day ten

Well I was busy yesterday so didn't get a chance to blog again, and next week prepare yourselves I'll probably miss 3 days in a row! 
What keeps me away??  Well miracle of day ten.  My job/career/place of work. 
I had been dreading going back to work and all of a sudden it is here and I actually found myself going back earlier than I had planned.  I realized that I am blessed to work somewhere that I feel valued, and appreciated.  Where I make a difference in people's lives.  Growing up I didn't know what I wanted to do in life but I knew that I had one goal.  I wanted a job where I would make a difference in people's lives.  My position allows me to do that. 
How blessed am I that I have a job, let alone one that I like.  A place where I get a long with all of my co-workers, a place that I get to fulfill my goal.  Yep, miracle #10.

Day nine

Well today I had a really big gift given, or rather I got to open a present that I knew was coming but I was anticipating getting to unwrap it.  I finally received word that Jacob is now legally mine, I am his mom and he is my son in the eyes of the law.  He will never be anyone elses forever!  So yes this was a big gift and I am so happy to finally be all done with that, however I got to thinking, is this the miracle of today?  I knew this day was coming but is this the miracle. 
Then I found out that my friend had her baby, 2 months early, but everyone is well and healthy and so there is no concern either than putting weight on baby to bring her home.  So is this the miracle of today? 
Then I went fishing with my dad, Jacob and my niece.  That was the miracle and biggest gift of the day.  I have an amazing family.  I am the oldest with two younger brothers, one who is married and one who is in a serious relationship.  Both of my parents are still alive and I am close with them both, I talk to them daily, sometimes several times a day.  I see my brothers and their families often, at least every couple of weeks.  I have two nieces and a nephew and spend a lot of time with them, I see them probably weekly at least. 
My family is the miracle.  We got home from fishing and my niece asked my dad to read her a story, so while I was in the kitchen cleaning the fish we caught I could hear my dad reading to my niece.  That is a gift, a small gift it may seem but in the big picture it's huge.  Family is my miracle today, and I am truly thankful and grateful to God for blessing me with mine.  I love them all and would be lost without each and every piece of mine.

Day eight

Well it's a big one today, HUGE, one, well maybe not that huge but BIG. 
So my dad got a job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Now to some that may not seem like a big deal but my dad has been out of work since January 2009.  Yes, he's been actively looking for work all this time nothing seems to have transpired out of it though.  Until today.  Well I have to share too how God played a part in this, of course, this blog is all about Him and His miracles.  So in August I approached our prayer chain to pray for my dad for a job.  I also approached my aunt and her prayer chain as well.  Then 3 weeks ago my dad and mom decided that they should come to church.  My dad told my mom today when he called her, "thank the Lord."  Now he could have been metaphorically speaking, but yes, THANK THE LORD.  My dad has a job.
Now there are a whole bunch of other miracles that go along with it.  It is doing the work he enjoys, it is a job close to home so he will be home every night, it is a very well paying job, and when my dad had applied he had told the company that he would take part time for now if that was all they had and instead they offered him full time work.  Miracle, miracle, miracle...........

Day seven

I have a friend that has been struggling for years with her relationship with God.  She has been forever saying, "I'm waiting for an angel to just come to me so that I know God is here."  It would drive me nuts when she would say this.  It drove me nuts because she is probably one of my friends that I discuss my relationship with God the most.  Yet she wanted someone else.  I sometimes would want to scream at her, "I'm right here!"  Now I'm not presuming I'm an angel, I'm not.  However I am someone who was and is trying to discuss with her, her relationship with God and how to open her heart to Him. 
Well last night she brought up how she realized last week that she has always had two people in her life that have been leading her to God, she just hasn't been open to it because it's about control.  She doesn't want to give up any control over her life and that is scary.  I get it, sort of.  I know that many people don't want to put their whole faith in God because they don't know, they think that satan will tempt them more so life will be harder, or that they will no longer be able to do the things that bring enjoyment into their lives. 
Maybe that's just a perception, but I know for myself, I can't remember a time that I have been happier and more full of love and life, and a security that I just know that my life is great and I will have a great life and that if I died tomorrow it would all be okay. 
So with my friend, I asked her if she ever prays that God will be with her.  She said that she doesn't pray anymore because she has some anger towards God because she felt like he left her.  Well I know God hasn't moved, so where is she I asked.  So this morning I said to her, "I pray that you are with God today, amen."  God is always there/here.  It is us that move.
So miracle #7 is that my friend is open to at least asking to join God for the day.  Amen.

Day six

So awhile ago I decided that I did not want to date or marry anyone that wasn't a Christian.  Some of my friends and family I am sure think that this is an absurdity.  For me though this is something that is a big thing in my life and I would want to share it with my spouse.  Well a very close friend of mine and I were having this discussion yet again yesterday afternoon.  They told me that they thought I was eliminating a lot of men in the dating scene by having this standard.  They thought that I was relying on the old checklist and that I had too high of standards for a mate.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I don't know.  What I do know is that I don't want to date someone that isn't a Christian and if that means being alone and raising my son alone than that's what will happen. 
It was bothering me all night though.  I had a horrible sleep.  This morning I was about to read my bible and again it was bothering me.  I read for a bit and then it came to me how to explain it to my friend the importance of me dating a Christian.
I immediately called the friend.  I asked "If I met the perfect man and he was perfect in every aspect but the only glitch was that he didn't have a job and he never planned on working.  He planned for me to be the person that worked in the household and carry the burden of finances.  What would you think."  Their response was, "Well if you were okay with that then it's up to you but that wouldn't be something that I could go into."  I said, "and this is exactly what I am talking about in regards to dating a Christian or not.  I don't want to carry the brunt of raising our children in a Godly home, and being the only person carrying the load."  Not that this is a burden at all but it was the only way I could explain it to make sense.
So the miracle is that my friend now completely understands my point of view and respects my decision to only date a Christian.

Day five

Well when you see the picture of my miracle today your probably going to think, well that's obvious.

However Jacob isn't the miracle.  He's what brought on the miracle.  He did something that I have never been able to do. 

He has brought my parents closer to God, one Sunday at a time.  Yep, for as many years as I have been a Christian I could never get my parents to church together unless it was a special occasion.  Then in the past couple of weeks they have mutually decided that "Jacob's grandparents should go to church". 

He's done something without even trying that I have tried to do for years.  The innocence and blessings a child brings to a heart is a miracle. 

Day four

Jacob prayed all by himself at supper.  That's my miracle for today.  I have been saying grace before meals quite frequently, I don't want to say all the time because I know it doesn't happen all the time but the majority of the time we say grace.  Well over the past month or so I've been getting Jacob to repeat what I say.  "thank you God for food, amen"  Tonight he said it all by himself without me saying it first.  That's a pretty good miracle I would say, for both God and I.

Day three

I know, I know it's actually day four but I didn't get a chance to blog last night.  I was just too tired to write anything, but I knew what my miracle was.  This lovely lady is the miracle of day 4.  She is my sister-in-law.  I love her dearly.  She and I didn't get off on the right foot when we first met 7 years ago, I think.  She was dating one of my younger brothers and just came into the family at a bad time.  However sometimes a rocky start makes for a better ending.  In this case it did.  She is a great, amazing, and awesome sister-in-law.  She is always available to help whenever I ask and she's been an outlet whenever something isn't going right in my life.  She's super supportive all the time and I know I don't tell her any of these things often enough.  So she's my miracle for day four.  That God blessed me with a great sister-in-law.  You always hear horror stories about in-laws.  I have no horror stories.  We get along and she has just made our family that much closer and I love her for it.