Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Day 170

Do you realize that in 12 more days I will have had a miracle a day for 6 entire months?
Yesterday wasn't a great day and I went to bed knowing that I was going to take a "mental health" day today.  I started this blog to never lose sight of God.  To always think about him each and every day and be thankful each and every day, never become complacent.  I've been complacent before, thinking that I had enough of him but really I've never had enough of him.  I can and will forever be pursuing him more and more.  Well this date thing is challenging me and my relationship with God.  If you aren't a Christian you may not get this so let me explain.  God is first in my life, even before Jacob, I love God the most.  So God wants me to marry a Christan.  How do I know this, well he told me.  "Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? " 2 Corinthians 6:14. 
Now wickedness refers to all those that are not saved and accepting of Jesus Christ.  So now that I know this, it is a struggle.  I know you may be thinking, it's just a date. Yeah, a date that if it goes really well there will be a second, third, engagement, marriage.  Not really that fast but you get what I'm saying.  Why would I go on a date if I didn't want to think about pursuing marriage with someone.  I know not everyone thinks like I do but this is how I think and have always thought.  So my struggle is that the date is not a Christian.  Is he open to church and God, not sure.  I think so, but not sure.  So I struggle with living in a Godly manner and also having the temptation of the world around me.  I struggle with what my life used to be like.  I don't have very many Christian friends, and no friends, either than one cousin, that has a similar past to me.  I wasn't raised in a religious home of any sort.  So there were no "rules" of any God's sort to live and abide by.  I have a past, I've done sinful things.  I struggle to explain to my Christian friends this because I don't get the impression that any of them have done the things that I've done and so now I struggle.  The only way I can explain it is heroin.  I have no idea how a person would get addicted to it and give up their entire life for the drug, I can sit back and say just clean yourself up.  However I don't understand it.  I've never had to live that life.  So like some of my friends who I perceive have always or almost always done the right thing life is easier if you've never known the dark.  Okay, so what is my miracle of the day?  The answer that God has provided me with.  You know that saying, "God will never give you more than you can handle"?  Well it's always used in the wrong context.  Here's the right context, aka bible verse: " The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." 1 Corinthians 10:13.  So God thank you for this miracle of your word and it always having the answers in it.  Thank you for showing me a way out when the temptation gets to be too much.  I'm just realizing though that all day I've felt very alone in this situation and the beginning of this verse tells me that temptations in my life are no different from others.  So God I guess I'm not alone.  Again, thank you.

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