Saturday, April 23, 2011

Day 203

When I was going through the process to adopt one of the skeptics was my brother Cory.  He had said to me one time that a kid was a lifelong commitment and that I wasn't going to send the kid back after a while.  I knew all of these things but I think that was my brother giving me parenting advice since he's a parent to 3 now.  We were all at my parents for supper tonight and now more than a year after Jacob has joined our family I watch the relationship between Jacob and Cory.  Cory tends to tease Jacob, tickling and poking and lifting him upside down.  I'm so thankful that Cory is who he is and was concerned but that he has such a good heart and loves this little boy as his nephew.  Thanks God!

Day 202

When I prayed for a mate one of the things that I prayed for was to be with someone who made me feel secure in the relationship, not insecure.  You know that icky feeling when you just spend all night wondering if you did something when in all actuality you did nothing and they just feel like being alone.  Well I always tended to worry and cause myself a lot of unnecessary anxiety.  Tonight D didn't come over and it was all okay.  I had no icky panicky feeling.  I had just contentment because I knew that we are okay and that we are getting to know each other so there will be times that we aren't always together and its all okay.  Thanks God for the peace of mind and answering my prayers yet again.

Day 201

There is a file at work that has made it's rounds.  Its just a difficult file and it keeps going to court and nothing ever seems to get resolved.  Today a prayer was answered and we have a court date to put the situation to rest once and for all.  Now to pray that it goes as we hope it will!

Day 200

I used to belong to a $240 club.  What it was is that 12 women get together and each throw $20 in the pot and each month a new woman wins the pot.  Really your up no money and your out no money because everyone wins once.  I started another one of these clubs but this time it is called "gift to yourself" club.  Tonight I was the host and so everyone came over and we all just sit around and socialize and its really a time to just get out and enjoy some adult lady time.  When I sent out invitations I really didn't know who would respond.  It's turned out to be a great mix of ladies and toight it was so much fun that some didn't go home until midnight!  Thank you God for these ladies and the time together.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Day 199

Jacob says prayers right before bed.  I've started asking him who he wanted to pray for and he will say certain people's names; Colton is usually at the top of the list and then he throws out other names.  Sometimes Pastor Norm, grandma, poppa, Aunty Jen.  I have no idea his rhyme or reason of who he says just that those are the people that we pray for that time then.  Tonight right away he asked "pray for Daniel?"  I said sure, so tonight Jacob prayed for Daniel.  Bless my son's little heart and his openness to pray for others.  Thanks God.

Day 198

Yesterday my stomach started the "gurgle, gurgle" action.  I wasn't sure if I was for sure getting sick or if it was just a touch of something.  By supper time I knew that I was sick.  I went to bed hoping it would pass.  At 4am I was wide awake and the gurgling was now painful and I knew I would not be going anywhere today.  Jacob woke up at his normal time of 7am but he just wanted to snuggle on the couch with mom.  I thought that maybe he was sick too.  We sat and watched Cars and then he seemed to be quite perky and happy.  He appeared not to be sick at all.  I on the other hand was still running to the bathroom and in pain.  So what is my miracle of the day as I was in the fetal position on the couch all day?  That Jacob was healthy and that he didn't get sick at all.  Can you believe that I haven't had one episode of puking or diarrhea yet?!  So thanks God for Jacob's health and his ability to play by himself and understand that his mom wasn't feeling too good today.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 197

I know your probably going to get a little bored of hearing about D but bear with me for a little while.
Tonight I got a glimmer of life as I know it.  You know how you think about what your life will be like one day, one day when your married, and you have kids, and your living life, you get to that point where you always dreamed about? 
Tonight I had a glimmer.  We had supper and Jacob had a bath and then afterwards we all snuggled up on the couch and watched tv and ate our dessert.  Jacob snuggled up in between us.  Yep, life as I know it.  Thanks God for my life and the glimmer of life as I know it.

Day 196

This morning I had plans to go to a parenting course.  I decided to make a last minute modification to those plans.  D was standing in his coveralls with a big goofy grin on his face and I was about to say good bye when he said, "oh your not going to come help me do chores?"  How could I resist?!  Riding in a tractor with this wonderful man that God has put in my path and all I really want to do is be with him and he with me?!  I modified and rode in the tractor, opened gates, doctored calves and was tickled pink to do it all. 
Then I went to the parenting course.  What a blessing it was to be around other parents who have similar struggles and to hear some practical advice and that I am going to make mistakes and that its okay, and that my child isn't going to be perfect and that's okay too. 
Thanks God for this wonderful day from start to finish!!

Day 195

My mom and dad are great.  I don't know if I really appreciate them enough but they are absolutely super people.  They are supportive of almost everything I do and when they aren't supportive or question my decisions I always know it is done out of love and concern.  They have really made being a single parent easy.  So easy to the point that I've never really thought of myself as a single parent.  Today they took Jacob for a visit so that I could spend some time with D.  Something that is going to be a challenge and a balance.  Well challenge, not really.  Jacob loves D and so far D really gets a kick out of Jacob.  However the fact that my parents recognize that we need alone time to get to know each other and that they support this new relationship I'm so thankful for.  Thanks God for giving me two really wonderful parents that as I've gotten older I can also add as friends, not just parents.

Day 194

So our relationship is very new and fresh but I took the plunge and did something that I have never done before.  I changed my status.  Yep, I did it, I went and changed it from "single" to "in a relationship".  I wasn't worried about this change until tonight.  D was getting his haircut at a mutual friend, the only friend that I am also friends with on the social website.  I had some worry about the friend making comments to him about my relationship status being changed and then him saying that I shouldn't have changed the status.  I know a lot of worry for no good reason but in the past this is exactly something that would have happened to me with the guys I used to see.  All that uneasiness was rest assured when he walked in and said I was supposed to call the mutual friend later.  So the girl in me analysed the situation and realized that clearly he and she had talked, whether or not she mentioned the relationship status didn't matter because she knew we were together and it didn't matter because it is the truth, can you hear the harps??  I'm in a relationship and I don't need to worry!!!  Thanks God for this assurance and I'll stop worrying now.

Day 193

I feel very blessed that my family all live within a half an hour drive.  This makes surprise get togethers and visits very easy but still just as meaningful if we lived farther away.  Tonight we had an impromptu visit with my sister-in-law, and my nieces and nephew.  As we all grow and our families grow it is sometimes hard to keep those close relationships with extended family and I just feel so greatful that all of my family lives so close and that Jacob will know his cousins, aunts and uncles so well because we see them so often.  Thanks God for the time and the family.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Day 192

Money has never been a strong point in my life.  I have money but I don't focus on having excess money in my bank account.  I have a savings but it doesn't have thousands and thousands of dollars in it.  I've never came into big windfalls or gambled and won big.  Today though I found out that all provincial employees are getting a bonus due to the union.  Within the next few months we all get $1750, 4% increase and then next January we get $1250!  That's great news!!!  I need new tires and Jacob's school is going to cost $450.  SO the $1750 will cover those costs after the tax man takes his share.  Then I came home and had a phone message that my taxes were done.  Now I had no clue what the end result would be for this year.  This was the first year I've had Jacob, I was on EI for 10 months of the year, so I really had no clue.  It turns out I'm getting over $4000 back!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I was shocked!  Goodbye one student loan!!!!! Thank you God for these gifts because I do know that all money really does come from you!

Day 190

I got to hold a newborn today.  I'm typically not a baby person.  I know some of you may not believe this but its the truth.  I'm a "little person" person, not so much a baby person.  I'm finding though that lately I'm asking to hold babies that are around.  Does it mean I'm "baby ready"  maybe, am I having a baby anytime soon.  Not yet anyways but I do feel God is opening me up to situations to feel like I could have a baby.  Having a baby actually has scared me.  A number of years ago I had surgery on my stomach and the scar tissue still bothers me and I don't like to touch my stomach.  Recently though this is slowly changing.  My nerves in my stomach are either finally healing or my mind is letting me believe that my stomach is fine.  The more I hold the miraculous little wonders that God gifts people with the more I think that I too would like to have a miracle in my hands one day.  I know each and everyday that Jacob is my miracle from God, but God does give more than one miracle to people sometimes.

Day 191

I have been on the road a lot for the past month.  Whenever that happens my paperwork falls way behind.  Today though I had a quiet day in the office and got almost all of my paperwork done.  Thanks God for the clear mind and quiet phone so that I was able to be so productive.

Day 189

So I know you are all sitting on pins and needles wondering about the man.....yep he's still around.  God has definitely brought him into my life and I into his for a reason.  He is the nicest man I've ever met in my life and finally I feel like I'm meeting someone who I feel is on the same page of life I am.  He came over tonight and we just sat and watched a movie and visited together.  Yes we're building a relationship but better than that we are building a friendship.  I've always said I wanted to be best friends with my husband and we're building that now.  Thank you God for each and every day and moment that I learn more and more about him and he about me.

Day 188

The sun was shining, the snow melting, it was blue skies.  God just blessed us with a beautiful spring day.  My son thought that if he could see the top of his sand box it was nice enough to play in.  What an imagination he has!  Thank you God for this day:)

Day 187

Over the years I have developed a close relationship with God.  This for some people may put a wedge between some of their non-Christian friends.  I have been extremely blessed in my friends.  They all understand and respect my belief and relationship with God.  Some have asked questions and this has opened up the possibility of them having a relationship with God themselves.  I thank God for putting me amongst so many non-Christians and living my life through him so that they may want what I have.  Tonight I spent the evening with all of my friends and laughed until I cried.  What a blessing it is to be placed in a situation where I am constantly fishers of men.  I feel blessed to be around these people and call them my closest friends.  Thank you God!

Day 186

Today Jacob and I stayed home together to work from home.  I didn't get much work done; a bit while he snuggled up in bed with me and watched fox and the hound and I got busy on the laptop.  I just need to say thanks though for this day; the day with my son, the day at home with him and being able to just have the time with him and a boss understanding enough to allow me to do this every once in awhile. 

Day 185

God just keeps blessing me with more and more good friends in my life.  I had worked with someone about 10+  years ago and she and I were more acquaintances than friends.  Over the years though we've become closer and closer.  I would now consider her one of my closest friends.  Her daughter next to my family has been closest to Jacob since he came home.  What a blessing it has been to be involved in their lives and watch their little girl grow and to find such a friendship in someone that I had passed off as an acquaintance at times.  Thank you God for this wonderful friend and friendship.

Day 184

I woke up super early today; 3:30am to be exact and couldn't go back to sleep.  What was bad about this is that I was also on the road today and had to travel back home after meetings all day.  My iPhone died about an hour into the drive and so I had to try and find a radio station to listen to.  I was able to get 930am and got to hear a bunch of really good Christian speakers and many words of wisdom to hear on the drive.  These people talking got me through the drive and home safe and sound even though I was so exhausted.  Thanks God for your words through these people; and my drive home safely.

Day 183

I had supper with a friend that I didn't really know that well before.  She was the first person I had met when I started going to church and for some reason right away I really felt connected to her.  She's moved now and I was going to be in her community so I called her and we were able to get together for supper.  God really did place her in my path.  She has had a similar background to I and she is now a Christian and living for God.  Is she tempted at times, yep, am I, yep.  It was so comforting to know that I'm not alone in this struggle and that someone out there knows exactly how I feel.  Thanks God for this friend and letting me know that even though I know you are always around sometimes its nice to know someone on earth feels the same way too.

Day 182

I'm halfway through a year!!!!  A miracle in itself that I've kept up with this each day and am able to recognize a miracle each and every day.  Thank you God for 182 days of gifts!!!!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Day 181

Well I'm pretty sure God has blessed me with the man I will marry.  He is just so nice!  Thanks God for placing this wonderful man in my path and for the rocky path that I went on to meet him.  A few less than appetizing apples has made me realize that the good apples really are worth the wait.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Day 180

I have a married couple as some dear friends.  I really am blessed to have them in my life.  I've never had an older sister and she be my older sister if I ever had one.  Tonight I had them over for supper.  Just the couple, their kids were busy so it was Jacob and I and them.  We enjoyed each other's company over supper and then after supper the man went and played with Jacob and she and I had the heart to heart about her concerns about the new relationship.  Much like an older sister would do.  I appreciate this friend so much and her role in my life in that capacity.  She and I have disagreements and we know that and its okay.  At the end of the day we love each other too much to let a minor difference of opinions get in the way of our friendship.  They've been the people in my life that I knew I can always count on at the drop of a hat and vice versa.  I know God has blessed each of us for each other.  Thanks God!

Day 179

Yesterday I had said I wanted to teach Jacob who his dad was.  Well that didn't take long.  I asked him this evening who his dad was and with a great big shout and enthusiasm he replied, "GOD!"  He gets is; thanks God!

Day 178

There are so many little things that I could recognize as miracles today; not getting a parking ticket when the meter ran out.  Apparently the woman who monitors really enjoys giving tickets.  Driving home safely today; I was super tired and yet the roads were dry and clear and I was able to make it home safe and sound.  Jacob being just ecstatic to see me when I got home.  Listening on the drive to various speakers and getting something from each and every one of them.  The most would have been when I listened to Mark Driscoll talk about praying to God.  I finally got it.  God is my dad. Why I felt that it was such a much more formal relationship when I thought of him as father I don't know.  However when I heard him talk about talking to God like your dad I got it.  He's everyone's dad, he's always there and he wants to hear from you; just like your human dad.  So I decided today to start teaching Jacob who his dad is.  I've been teaching him about God for awhile now and he asks about things that God made and where God is and we pray.  Now I  want him to know that God is his dad.  He every once in awhile says this word and I think its because he hears it at the sitters; now I can tell him exactly who his dad is and have an answer for him.  Thanks God for being Dad!